#8: What I've Forgotten

I have to make an admission of guilt.  Having something linger over your head can keep you up at night, can make you physically ill and be a general heartbreak.  What I've done just kinda happened.  But lately it has snuck up on me and basically whacked me really hard. 

I think I am pretty good at making people who come into my store a priority.  It is a blessing every single day to see the most amazing women walk through my door.  I love learning about their lives - both happiness and struggles.  I especially love when I can give them an experience they will remember and make them realize that my store is a safe place of secrets and laughter. 

But what has happened to the others in my life?  I bet it looks like I have forgotten them.  But, I haven't.  Some days I don't even see my husband except for a few stolen minutes.  This morning he was still sleeping when I left to go workout and had already left for work when I returned.  I don't like that, so I stalked him at his office to get my good morning kiss. 

I think about them when I wake up early and the sun is peeking up.  I think about them when I pass the skate place, I think about them when I see Wheatfields.  Problem is, I don't know how to go back and make up for lost time.  Is it possible?  I'm not sure, but I hope not. 

I am guilty of not giving the gift of time and letting go too easy while letting the craziness get in the way.  It has taken a toll and I am afraid that the price I am and have paid is way too high. 

So, I am stealing a moment of time as I write this and am making it my #8 of my top one hundred...a mixture of giving someone your time and forgetting about all the other stuff that has to get done AND even when you can't physically be there, still "be there" and make sure they know. 

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#7: Resetting the Odometer

I have this sign in my store:  "Some people try to turn back their odometers.  Not me, I want people to know why I look this way.  I've traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren't paved."  So many have tried to buy it that I've had to put a sticker on it that says it isn't for sale.  It always makes me wonder what their roads were.  How did they get to this place?  Are they happy where they are?  Or do they think they settled and now wish they had gone out of their comfort zone to take the risks?
I know my "roads" were hard, but in other's eyes, they probably see that I have an easy life.  My roads weren't too terribly physically seen, but they are there.  Some days you can see it in my eyes and face, and other days you won't see it all because I won't allow it to be seen.  I think we are all like that. 

If I am completely up front, I really don't want anyone to see the "road maps" on my face.  We call them laugh lines (but they don't really make us laugh after awhile), we call them "elevens" (those silly lines between our eyes) and we see the spots and marks that tell others we are getting older.  My body may be of a certain "over 40" age, but my mind says I'm still in my early 30's.  I am actually shocked some mornings when I wake up and look in the mirror...it's like "what the hell?"

I will admit, I am a user (or former user) of a ton of products on my face.  I kept thinking something will help it and once in a while I would find something that I liked...until my body got used to it and was like ho-hum, here we go again.  I have drawers of stuff and currently a big bag that I pull out every morning and every night (maybe not every one, especially after a margarita or two).  But I've noticed that while I pull the bag out, I'm only looking for a specific few.  And they are my #7's. 

Every woman (and man, even) should have their "go-to" products for skincare.  I honestly used to be a rep for a skin care line.  I loved (and still do) the products.  I think I started out using just about every single one and am down to only the basics.  And believe me, there were probably about 10 I would use.  But those aren't my #7. 

#7 is one bottle of amazingness and actually has done wonders for more than just my (and others) skin as far as helping me get rid of wrinkles - my face looks brighter, is softer and doesn't feel dry any more.  I didn't have to change what I was normally using to wash and moisturize...the moisture is sealed in using Skincerity and that, in turn, helps in so many ways.  Skincerity was originally developed as a drug delivery system through millions of dollars in grants from the National Institutes of Health. During this process, its unique rejuvenation attributes were discovered and has since been awarded numerous patents. And all I do is roll it on at night and wash it off in the morning.  It's one bottle with magical results.  You won't believe the results others have seen.  Well, once you start using it, you'll believe in only 5 days...guaranteed.

How do I know?  I started getting carded again...with surprised looks on the cashier's face when they looked at the year.  I'll take that road any day.

#6: Share and Share Alike

If #5 was about being silent, then #6 has to be about sharing.  About being motivated and inspired by those in your circles and those things you see and hear.  I think we all need to have a power-charge once in awhile and surround ourselves with something that gets us excited and energized.  That "woohoo" feeling can be contagious and if we show it, others grab on and want to experience it, too.  It's also about having the right timing and believing.

Last night I met with a few women about a great business product.  I've been a part of the organization for about eight months, but was struggling with actually doing anything with it and how to share it with others without scaring them off.   But I'm realizing I can do it.  One step at a time, right?  Isn't that how anything goes?  If knowledge is the enemy of fear, then fear better watch out, because we are heading right in it's direction head on.

The product?  Well, it's amazing.  It's had results that you honestly have to see to believe.  How it started and where it's evolved from and the way it's coming to the United States is fast and furious.  Best part?  This is the ground floor.  It isn't something that has been around for years and has a lot of reps and people already using it.  The potential is there for you as much as it is for me.  And this morning I shared it with someone who is as excited as I am about it.  They are ready to jump on board and expand their business, too. 

Curious?  Want to know more?  Then I am ready to share with you as I learn more and more.  Get ready as I share #7, 8, 9, 10 on my top 100.  I think if you are ready to have that door open to potential, your potential is limitless.  And then you'll be wanting to share and share and share....

#5: Silence

So, I've been away from the blog for awhile.  Silent.  And I have been silent in other ways of my life, too.  It can be good or it can be bad, depending on how you choose to look at it.  I'm choosing to look at it positively, and that is why I chose it for my #5. 

A very smart businessman here in Papillion, a man that I have come to admire and respect and one that I want to be proud of my accomplishments sat down one Thursday morning to talk to our Association.  He is very humble and certainly does not brag about all the incredible things he has done in his lifetime.  He was asked about how he did - the key to his success.  It was so simple:  "I listened."  He listened to what the people wanted.  He listened and observed to see what was needed.  And in the end, contrary to what some thought he should do, he was right. 

Silence is the key, I think.  Being quiet and just hearing what others are saying.  Not working on a rebuttal or what you want to say while others are talking.  Taking the time listen and to be silent.  Your heart and head will tell you when to speak. 

#4...in my power

I was going to write my #4 about an actual article of clothing, but nope.  Life makes me change my thinking when I go to actually write something.  Though it isn't something you wear, it is something you should have with you at every step...knowing you have, in your power, the ability to make a difference in someone's life.  That you have, in your power, the ability to make things better.  That you have, in your power, the ability to determine your destiny and influence the destiny of others. 

When something bad comes to light, the immediate reaction is to lash out and blame someone or something else.  To just say what you are thinking in the heat of the moment instead of analyzing and seeing the truth in it.  Have I just gone off the deep end without stopping to see how it will affect someone?  You bet I have.  And then I regret.

Where is the truth in what happened?  What can be done so it doesn't happen again?  What can I do to make it better for myself, others around me and those to come?  In my past life, I tried to do those things and wasn't very popular a lot of the time for many different reasons.  I saw things and heard things that you never want to know about because if you did, you would think I was lying...people don't treat others like that, but they do.  For a while, I had, in my power, the ability to make it better for those to come and for those needed help.  When I knew that "power" was gone, I left and started Absolutely Her. 

And now, I have the power back to make a difference in the lives of those I currently serve.  And those who are near and dear to me.  I have the power to use face to face contact to let others see that I care about their lives and the lives of those around them.  To use the goodness of my consignors to help in any way I can.  To use my power to spread love around.  I told someone that I have never told before that I loved them.  She is a woman so strong, she probably doesn't see her strength.  She is a woman who fights and loves deeply.  She is the mother to a young woman  who is my "intern daughter".  And she is a woman I admire.  She has power. 

Today think about your power.  What do you have the power to do?  Who do you have the power to help?  Who "empowers" you?  Make a difference in one person today...the smallest of gestures can bring the greatest of rewards.

#3: A Little More Personal...

This morning I had the pleasure of having a breakfast meeting with the wonderful women of REgroup (Trish, Pauline, Diane & MJ).  One of the things that came up was my mom doing what mom's do best and bragging on her "littlest angel" as she went to the other shops during our REgroup shopping tour a couple of weeks ago.  I will say it used to embarrass me a little when she would do that, but not any more, because I completely understand as I want to brag about her today. 

Mom

I don't know if she will care that I am telling everyone, but she is 82 years old and has a more active social life than I do with all of the different groups she is involved in.  She is the president of a couple, volunteers at Midlands Hospital, "babysits juries" for the courthouse and can usually be found at the Legion with her best gal friends a couple of times a month.  (I actually taught the ladies how to play quarters a few years back - that was a great sight to see!)

When my dad died 24 years ago, she had the option of shutting down and dwelling or get out and enjoy life.  I am so thankful she decided to venture into areas she had not known.  She seems to have her own "bucket list" and is working on checking those things off and adding new ones. 

Now I know not everyone has the kind of mom that I do and I know that not everyone has been able to be the kind of mom that I have.  So my #3 isn't that it's necessary to have a mom, but to have someone in your corner who brags you up, is there when you need them - someone you know loves you no matter what.  And it's to be that person to someone else. 

As we have Mother's Day this week, let's take the time to celebrate all the women in your life.  And when someone special comes into your life, embrace them and make them one of your top one hundred. 



Still learning after all these years....

                                  

#2: Show Your Colors

I am normally a black purse person.  It seems to just go with everything and blends in to what I'm wearing.  But I discovered the power of color with a little help from my friends.  I bought the perfect bag (at Absolutely Her, of course) and it is the most interesting thing I think I own.  It is a beautiful teal-turquoise color with 6 standout flowers by Nicole Lee.  I have had so many women stop me and ask about it.  I love showing them and then telling them where I got it.  It is certainly one of my best marketing tools.  Funny thing is, I was in a car dealership about two weeks ago and even some of the men were commenting about it and wanting one for their wives.  To make it stand out even a little more, "the other Angela" tied a polka-dot scarf to it.  LOVE IT!







But the best part about having this purse is that the person who consigned it loves to buy her favorite things in multiple colors.  So guess what the next purse I bought was?  Her twin sister in yellow and orange! 

I guess my #2 is not a particular item, but more of a notion of adding color to your wardrobe.  It can be something as simple as a bracelet (today I have on a bright orange one), a scarf, a purse or anything you feel will give you that little boost of happiness. 




And on a totally different note, I have to share what happened this week.  One of my customers came in with her son because he had been in with her before, and found something he wanted to give her for Mother's Day.  He was so cute -  mom went to the other side of the store and when she was out of sight, he took me to the exact thing he wanted and then I gave him everything he needed to wrap it up for her.  He was so proud to have picked out the perfect gift all on his own.  He has great taste and I know she will treasure it!

Best part?  Another mom was in the store with her son and she let him pick out her present, too.  He was so excited I don't know if it will make it to Mother's Day - he wanted her to open it right there.

Happy Early Mother's Day to these two women - you are raising outstanding young men. 

#1 On My Journey

Most would think I was strange to list this as my first item on the One Hundred List of mine, but as I was pondering what it was that was my most "go-to" item, it popped into my head.  I have had this particular item of my wardrobe for so many years - almost eleven now.  It was given to me as a gift and has withstood the harshest and softest of elements.  I can't imagine not wearing it and I hope I never have to.  What I love the most about it is it's simplicity yet it is the most complicated of all things.  There's another one out there, too - not an exact match, but so close.

I don't know if Nina Garcia was thinking about it when she wrote her book (if it's in there, I haven't come across it yet), but she even said that you have to create your own list and not copy hers. 

So, my number one item is my wedding band.  It is so symbolic of any marriage.  Some days, in the right setting, it sparkles and shines - so bright it takes you by surprise.  And other days, well, it may take you by surprise by the wear and tear it shows.  Today it is a bright and shiny object that I am drawn to and can't wait until the work day is over and I can go home to see my husband.  I know that may not be tomorrow, but I can keep doing all I can to see the glitz and to make it his top item as well. 

The Journey To My Own One Hundred

I bought this book a while back called "The One Hundred...A Guide to the Pieces Every Stylish Woman Must Own" by Nina Garcia.  While I haven't gotten very far, it's funny how one thing reminds me of another.  Earlier in the day I wrote on the chalkboard at the store, "Fashion is what you're offered four times a year.  Style is what YOU pick out of that fashion."  And as I'm reading this book, she says, "Style is a deeply personal expression of who you are, and every time you dress, you are asserting a part of yourself." 

Today my style is pretty casual and reflects the hurried nature of the morning - too much to get done but not enough time to master it all.  Ok, to be honest I think I'm sloppy, but at least I remembered earrings to try to dress it up a little. 

When I go to my closet (which many people think I must have a wardrobe to die for because I own a clothing store - I don't), I spend way too much time standing there trying to figure out what it's going to be that day.  Do I feel confident and want to put on a skirt to show off my new spray tan or do I feel fat, frumpy and pale and want to hide it all or do I just not really know how I feel but I know when I put on those jeans, they will be my answer? 

Clothes seriously can make or break your day.  I hear so many women talk about their size.  And I tell them that it's not about the number, but it's about the fit.  FORGET THE NUMBER, ladies.  I know because owning a consignment store gives me great flexibility in the brands I have.  I am a small, medium, large, and extra-large.  I am a 6, 8, 10, and 12.  And anymore, I don't care.  If it fits and I feel good, it's mine (much to my husband's dismay).

So what's the point and how did I get from what the hundred is according to Nina Garcia to the size?  Well, I figure my one hundred should be whatever makes me feel spectacular and they should be things that can mix and match (kinda like garanimals) to make me feel confident every day.  Stay tuned as I go through this journey to my own One Hundred.

Did That Really Just Happen?

I love learning new things.  Especially when it comes to the store.  I get excited and energized again and again - even more so when I am able to see the results in one day.  On Friday morning I attended a class put on by Next Move Marketing in Bellevue.  It was about making videos and using them to drive more traffic to your store and to help with your placement on google searches and YouTube. 

Within one hour of that class ending, I had my filmed my first video, optimized it, posted it on YouTube (AbsolutelyHer815:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RZk3WbZfuE).  In the next hour it was being "promoted" on my Facebook page (thanks again to Next  Move Marketing) and on my website (www.absolutelyherstore.com). 

I'll admit that I checked Face Book a lot during the day to see how many saw it and all the other stats on it.  But, I was completely surprised and taken aback by a post on FB 24 hours later.  Next Move Marketing was watching and now when you search in google, Absolutely Her is on the first page when you look for "Women's Clothing Papillion NE".  I am on the first page of Google!  Never been there before - was on page 4 or 5 before.  And when you search "Women's Shopping Papillion NE", I am number four on that first page.  Go ahead..search "Women's Consignment Papillion" or Women's Consignment Omaha"...right up there either at the top or near the top.  AMAZING. 

This isn't a post to brag (though I am so excited), it's a post for you to see what these guys can do to help your business.  They will be hosting more classes, so I dare you to go to one and see the results.  No, I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU!

www.nextmovemarketing.com or check them on Facebook.  I guarantee you'll be excited and energized as well!

The Other Side of Retail

I love watching people shop.  Especially sisters and friends.  They are brutally honest with each other without hurting the other's feelings.  One says something and then they both burst out laughing.  It makes for such a fun day in the store. 

The other day I was watching two women trying things on and getting the other's opinion.  They were in here for about 45 minutes.  Typical friendly banter between the two and again, the honesty.  The one gal came up to check out and the other was still right there, advising her about how to accessorize one of the outfits.  We finished up her sale and she turned to the other and said, "It was so nice to meet you - have a good day."  I was dumbfounded for a moment.  I honestly thought they knew each other. 

For so long I shopped at the "big box" stores and it was rare to have any kind of conversation with anyone.  Since I opened Absolutely Her, I've seen the other side of retail - the great side of enjoying the atmosphere of smaller shops and meeting women who inspire me in ways they probably never even imagined. 

That One Thing

Thrifting has become a new way of living to some, but I've been doing it for a while.  Now it's the anticipation of what I might find and then the great price I'll pay for it.  For me it's about the hunt.  It's become a game of chance.  Right now I know exactly what I am looking for.  It's nothing special to most, but for some reason, I want one.  Do you have that one thing?  I put a quote in the last newsletter..."Somewhere someone is looking for exactly what you have to offer".  

It is fun to hear someone tell me what they are looking for and they "have been to all the stores in the mall" and can't find it.  The fun part?  Many times I can go over to a rack, pull something out of it like a magician and abracadabra...it's "exactly" what they wanted. 

That's what consignment here at Absolutely Her is about.  Not only do we take classic pieces and things that are currently in style, but we like to listen to what our customers are looking for and we keep our eye out when new items come in.  Our "Wish List" feature in the computer system helps us even more.  So if you have that one thing, please let us know so we can help you find it.

And if you're wondering about my "one thing", it's called a quaffer or a double-bubble shot glass.  It could get me into a lot of trouble, but what can I say?  Sometimes I like trouble. 

Stop and Take a Minute

Did you know I have 3 step-daughters or as someone else says, "bonus daughters"?  I came into their life over 10 years ago.  We've been through some devastating times and some incredible times.    I don't always have the time to see them or check in with them, but they are constantly on my mind.  Today Stephanie, the youngest one, is celebrating her 25th birthday.  Kristen, the middle daughter, and her husband, Ryan, are getting ready to have a little girl (Baby Concetta) join their son, Levi.  And the oldest, Lindsay, is getting ready to embark on her own journey.  They have been a blessing to me.  And some days I wonder if they know how much they really mean to me. No matter what.

Do you have those in your life whom you love dearly but aren't always sure they know?  Make sure they do.  Stop and take a minute to let them know.  You never know.  Today may be the day they need it the most. 

Girls, I'm not sure if you will even see this...I love you. 

Spring is Just Around the Corner...

Though it hasn't been a bad winter (yet), I am ready for spring.  Ready to get out and walk without fear of falling on ice on the sidewalks.  Ready to see some flowers come up.  Ready to start fresh.  Especially at the store.  I am ready to see the bright colors again.  But in order for that to happen, we have to start emptying the space by having a sale.  A huge sale.  Sometimes I'm not always sure what I am going to do and have to go back through and redo a few things in the shop to get ready.  But it is always exciting to see the items being snatched up.  The sale starts on Thursday, so be sure to make some time to come in and see all the incredible deals we are offering.  You won't be disappointed!

It's All About the Numbers

Do you have someone or many someones in your life that when you think about them, it just makes you smile and your day just gets better?  For me, that happens when I see numbers.  Consignor numbers.  I have those that are memorized and I know exactly who the item belongs to.  Just now I was looking at 1848.  That's Lou.  And then there's 971.  That's Jean.  And 999.  That's Diane.  And I am ever grateful to #57, Kathy.

Consignors and customers are surprised when I call them by name after only having been here maybe once before.  To some it's called customer service, but I think it's about meeting new friends.  I may not always know the name, but I hope I can recognize the face and the smile or maybe it's what they are looking at/looking for or what they are wearing.  That's a great compliment to see it come back through the doors being worn or carried. 

Having come from a profession where I sat in the basement and only saw about 35 people on a regular basis to having a "room with a view" and seeing hundreds (actually thousands) of faces, it makes me appreciate the value of a good equation because it is "all about the numbers".

The Pre-Fall Collections

We're already talking about the "Pre-Fall Collection" and we're on the 5th day of January! 

(We just finished announcing the 2013 color of the year:  "Emerald is no longer green with envy. The rich, vibrant shade is Pantone LLC’s Color of the Year for 2013, beating out all the other shades of the rainbow."  I have to admit I love the color of the year - it has such great memories for me prior to Leonard.)

And I love what they are saying about the pre-fall collection - black is back!  I love black.  My closet has double-rows for my shirts and the top is full of the "regular" colors but the bottom row is all black.  Don't know what to wear today?  Wear black.  Have to go to a fancy dinner?  Wear black.  Meeting up with old friends?  Wear black (it makes you look skinnier!) 

Did you know that you should wear black, not white in the summer?  That's what the physics says about it.  Surprised?  I am!  For me, black is the go-to color and will always be my official "Color of the Year". 

Hello World

So, I have an idea for the business.  How hard do you think it was to convince the Bank of Leonard?  Tough.  Very Tough.  But I knew the way to that man's heart was not with food but with a business plan.  I secretly created one while I was off work for a bit.  I spent days in what I called my office (a small study room at the library) to create the plan and research.  Then came the day when I presented the idea.  I think he was a little surprised and somewhat impressed that I had been working on it without him knowing.  In order to get the go-ahead to quit my job and totally change our lifestyle, the last thing I had to do was go back to Arizona and spend some time with a consignment shop owner I had met on a previous trip.  Kim was gracious enough to let me go and learn from her by going to several stores in her area to see what they did and then work in her store.  I have pages and pages of notes from those few days and still use them almost two years later.  She was (and still is) amazing.   

[I have a tendency to get side-tracked sometimes, we call that Kitty (aka: Sidebar):  This would be one of the biggest pieces of advice I would give anyone who was thinking about opening a new business.  Find a mentor and ask questions.]

One of the best days of this journey?  The day I put in my resignation (along with a packet on how to hire my replacement - complete with test and everything!)  As I waited for one of my biggest cheerleaders (Mick) to come to my house for our early morning walk/run, I started that day listening to a song by Lady Antebellum called "Hello World"...

"Well, hello world, how you been?  Good to see you, my old friendSometimes I feel as cold as steelAnd broken like I'm never gonna heal
I see a light, a little grace, a little faith unfurlWell, hello world"

I was actually in my driveway spinning around with my arms opened wide (at 0430, I don't hink anyone saw me, but I wouldn't have cared.)  That day was like freedom.  It was scary not knowing what the days ahead would bring.  But there was also excitement to learn about what the days ahead would bring.   Truthfully, this road was and is one of the hardest I have ever travelled.  And there have been plenty. 

We opened the doors to Absolutely Her on September 27th at 1:00 pm.  With over 1,200 items already, I felt I had a lot of inventory and was good to go.  Boy was I silly.  Today we have over 5,000 and are busting at the seams.  I LOVE IT! 

It's About Time!

I have a list of resolutions.  So far So Good.  I've actually kept them past 2 days.  So this is a record.  Actually, I started about a month ago.  The main one was to plan ahead and so I started in December to plan for the year at Absolutely Her.  I've got my sale and major events planned for the next few months along with the window displays.  The first display for the window was going to be a snowman and snowflakes with different winter coats.  That's what I wrote down.  But when I went to actually put it together, it didn't feel right.  So instead it has a theme...Miracles Happen Everyday and the color purple.  Technically I didn't stay with the plan that I had, but the actual goal was to change out the window.  Sometimes our lives don't follow the plan but we reach the goal.  Never knowing what was to happen but learning it was okay the way it turned out.  I've got several different things that I want to do this year.  And I'm hoping my first resolution of planning ahead is going to make the others fall into place.  Taking the burden off of one part of your life can lighten the load on the others as well. 

This blog is the start of the new year's goals as well.  And as I try to figure out where to go and what to write about, I think I should just start at the beginning.  Along the way you'll learn about the store, about consignment and more about me than you ever hoped to know. 

ABSOLUTELY HER has been my "dream" for a very long time.  Even before I knew what exactly it was going to be.  I knew I wanted my own business, but I sure didn't know what it was at the time.  For the longest time my obsession was shopping.  I loved to go to the malls to see what new things were out and what I just had to have.  There were bright and shiny objects tempting me at every turn and I bought them.  Lots of them.  More than I ever needed or ever wanted.  Some were beyond what I should have spent, but back then, I didn't care.  Just hand over the card.  Then a friend of mine introduced me to Goodwill and other thrift store shopping.  I found the same things at the mall for such a small price that I realized I couldn't stand to pay full price for things anymore.  By this time I was in a job that wasn't me but I stayed because I was afraid to leave.  It had been over 20 years.  How do you walk away from that stability?  And that paycheck?

People say that timing is everything and I know that to be true.  I was in the hospital with my mom when a story came on about consignment store shopping.  That's when the lightbulb came on and the idea started to form about what we could do in Papillion.  Convincing my husband was the next step...